Building Dreams

Do you remember the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes?

As a kid, I remember telling my Dad before the Super Bowl, "We're gonna win this year, Dad!" His smile showed he thought it was highly unlikely, but I was so convinced I could tell that a part of him wondered if I could see the future.

I put on a cute outfit so I’d be ready for the camera crew, but they never showed up. We didn’t win the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes that year, or the other year I was convinced we would.

Maybe not all of our dreams will come true.

But the ones that are meant to? Oh, yeah, they do. We have to believe, almost in a childlike way, and then let go of trying to force them into being while also taking steps to create.

Have a dream? Set the intention, believe it’s absolutely possible, release the tight grip, and take steps when the time feels right.

I’m such a practical person that I often forget that I’m also a big dreamer.

I’m not the airy-fairy type; I feel more grounded than that. My practicality kicks in more often than not, but some of my dreams are impractical and never materialize.

I guess, if you allow yourself to dream wildly and freely, you can’t realistically build out every dream. Some remain in the ether, while others become tangible.

When my dreams come true I notice. I feel the beauty of the unfolding so incredibly deeply.

When the vision becomes tangible I know I’m in true alignment.

I recently reconnected with a friend of mine. As an avid reader he often quotes books and references plays in our exchanges. I reminded him that many years ago he gave me the book, The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo Tolstoy.

As he shared some challenges he was facing I found myself asking him, “is there any wisdom in The Death of Ivan Ilyich that’s relevant for you now?”

He responded, yes, the line that’s seared into his memory comes back frequently.

“Ivan Ilych's life had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible.”

That line stayed with me after our conversation.

These days, I travel far less than most people I know. I rarely go out to restaurants, cafés, or festivals, and I spend most of my time in solitude, distraction-free. If I described a typical day or week, it wouldn’t sound exciting, some might even say it sounds boring. It’s most definitely simple and that is the intention. And yet, when he shared that quote, I realized my life actually feels extraordinary, even though I don’t have a long list of crazy things I’ve done. Why? I think it’s because I dream, and not just dream, but actually work toward creating those dreams. I have a dream and I take the steps.

I allow myself to think outside the box. I’m willing to be alone rather than follow the herd. I step up and lead when I feel called to do so. I follow my intuition wherever it leads, and believe me, it takes me on wild, thrilling, and sometimes even scary adventures.

I was on the track for an ordinary life. I lived it. Now I’m free. Weird as hell and free as a bird.

Being a dreamer can make you look like a fool. Sometimes you’ll even feel like a fool. When I wrote an article in the Portland Press about one of my dreams, Revive Gatherings, someone called me 'quixotic.' Full disclosure: I had no idea what the word meant until I googled it, but I could tell from his email that he was perhaps subconsciously rooting for me while also believing my dreams were impossible, and trying to shut me down.

The definition of 'quixotic' from Merriam-Webster? Here it is:

1: Foolishly impractical, especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially marked by rash, lofty, romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous actions.

2: Capricious, unpredictable.

The dream I wrote about in the Portland Press has not materialized.

Was he right?

I’ve released my grip on it, but that doesn’t mean it will never happen. It doesn’t mean my dream doesn’t have worth.

Call me quixotic, foolish, lofty, romantic, capricious, and unpredictable. Sure, I’ll take those labels if you want to put them on me. And while that man judges me from the comfort of his living room, perhaps with a bit of envy for my dreamy, romantic and bold ways, I’ll keep taking steps toward my dreams, believing in myself with childlike enthusiasm.

Some will manifest, and it will seem like fucking magic. Others will flop, and some may mistakenly pity or judge me.

I’ll keep being both my practical and dreamer self, stumbling, creating, and never stifling space for dreams in my life.

Not everyone will appreciate or understand your dreams, and perhaps that’s just how it’s meant to be.

But if you allow yourself to dream, perhaps you can create, or continue to create, a most extraordinary life.

With so much love,

Julia

Questions For Your Dreamy Self

Do you have a dreamer within you?

What dreams does that part of you carry?

Have you ever allowed yourself to follow your dreams? When was the last time you did? How did it feel? What came of it?

Are you creating an extraordinary life? If so, how does it feel to reflect on that? If not, is there a step you’d like to take to create space for the extraordinary to enter?