This deck surrounded by trees.

My inspiration space.

My relaxation space.

My connection space.

Morning coffee.

What is it about you that soothes me?

Thank you.

My mom was a private person. She wasn’t flashy and never wanted the spotlight. I realize that shining a light on her like this might have made her a little uncomfortable. And yet I think sometimes the people who live the quietest lives have the most profound wisdom to share.

You just have to listen.

In therapy, truth rules, and as a therapist I’ve learned over the years that many, many people (though not all) feel ungrounded and unsatisfied during the holidays.

I’ve never really loved the holidays. I’ll choose a mundane Monday over the energy of the holiday season. Even as a little kid, the incongruence between people saying this was the best time of year and my body sensing chaos, stress, feelings of inadequacy and pressure around me, never sat well with me. I don’t like fake things and something felt fake. People are always shocked when I tell them I wasn’t genuinely into Christmas as a kid. I was ashamed of that truth for a while but no longer.

I pretended.

I am a trained play therapist.

When my kids were very young and my energy was entirely devoted to caring for their needs, something inspired me to seek training that would help me better support young children.

We met on weekends in classrooms in New Hampshire for my post-masters play therapy program. During our very first class, our professor, who later became a mentor to me, said a few things that stuck.

“Most people who work with kids are very playful and childlike. They are like the ‘kid who never grew up.’”

I shrunk a bit.

Do you remember the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes?

As a kid, I remember telling my Dad before the Super Bowl, "We're gonna win this year, Dad!" His smile showed he thought it was highly unlikely, but I was so convinced I could tell that a part of him wondered if I could see the future.

I put on a cute outfit so I’d be ready for the camera crew, but they never showed up. We didn’t win the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes that year, or the other year I was convinced we would.

Maybe not all of our dreams will come true.

But the ones that are meant to? Oh, yeah, they do.

I’ve always had this inner sense that something was different about me.

In college I befriended the Teaching Assistants (TAs) who came from Europe. I learned about Spain, they secretly let me live with them for a few months, and I shared clothing with my friend Lara from Italy. Looking back it’s likely because as “foreigners” navigating American life I felt more similar to them than my own college peers. The TAs mirrored my own feeling of being different, navigating life in foreign lands, a place that wasn’t home.

Outsiders together.

What messages have you been given about yourself? What messages stand out? Notice and/or write as many that come to you without thinking about it, just let it flow.